If I take the time to think about it I honestly can’t believe that it has already been a month since we got married. Thirty days sounds like a lot but in reality it is very little, especially when it is filled with so much stuff. It hasn’t been the quietest of months since the wedding, our mini-moon, the reception, me getting back to work and Sarah breaking her hand and then getting ready for my brother moving out; all interspersed with trying to be sociable and stick to our regular(ish) dinners with friends.
People keep asking me if it feels different now that we are married and my automatic answer is always no, we’ve been together long enough, lived together long enough, that we might as well have been married years ago but the more I think about it the more I think it does feel different and it’s all in the details. It’s in remembering to refer to Sarah as my wife, not my girlfriend, something I keep forgetting about and then have to correct myself, it’s in remembering to use my married name when I’m making bookings and filling out forms, signing my new name still feels strange and doesn’t come at all naturally to me. I don’t think it helps that I am still living in a kind of limbo between my old name and my new because my details haven’t changed over everywhere, particularly at work where the process seems to be overly complicated. I do still get a little thrill though, when I get the opportunity to use my new name or to sign my new signature which I’m sure will wear off eventually but I am enjoying for the moment.
Both Sarah and I had a little giggle (ok mine was partly to stop myself crying but we’re brushing over that) during the ceremony and for me it was because I found it hilarious that we were actually doing this insane thing and finally getting married and I still have a little giggle when I remember that I am a wife, that I have a wife.
We’ve received the proofs of our professional pictures and I love far more of them than I expected to given that as soon as someone points a camera at me I get like Chandler from Friends and lose control of my face. Obviously there are a few where you can tell I’m feeling under pressure and one particular where I am pulling my ‘prison warden’ face which hasn’t been seen since my first work picture years ago but on the whole I’m happy and not at all looking forward to deciding which ones we want in the book.
People also keep asking me if I had a good time and despite some of the faces I pulled throughout both days I can honestly say that I did. I think if I had been asked while in the middle of either of the days I would have said that I wished we’d run away and done in that way and Sarah said as much to me on at least one occasion but now, with hindsight I don’t think I would change anything, not even the full day of baking I did before the reception instead of paying for a buffet. I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of something that Sarah and I have done together, all the hard work, the stress, to get Boulevard ready for the reception paid off and I think (and hope) that everyone who was there had as much fun as we did.
I have a few more wedding themed posts lined up and then because, despite appearances sometimes, I have enjoyed the process of blogging and sharing things with the world, this space will become Our Big Fat Lesbian Life and hopefully, we will keep on doing things worth writing about. That said, if there is anything that you would like to see here, any topics you would like us to cover, drop something in the comments and we’ll try and fit it in somewhere!
Till next time